We decided to share our view on spiritual bypassing as it became a scorching topic in the spiritual communities. We’ll go through the “birth” of this concept, examples of its manifestation, our perspective as plant medicine facilitators, and a list of the most inspiring speakers on the matter.
What is spiritual bypassing?
John Welwood (American psychologist) coined the term in 1984, as he observed that people would rather resort to spirituality than address difficult emotions necessary for personal growth.
Specialists concluded that spiritual bypassing is almost inevitable when faced with painful events. What turns it against one’s wholeness and well-being is time. When it’s used as a long-term strategy, it leads to negative consequences.
Spiritual bypassing examples
Some of the main consequences are:
- Anger and phobia
- Emotional numbing and repression
- Devaluations of the personal relative to the spiritual
- Avoidance of daily life
- Over-attachment to the positive
- Spiritual narcissism
- Exaggerated detachment or taking no personal responsibility
- Weak or poor boundaries
- Blind loyalty to spiritual teachers
- Compulsive kindness
- Codependency
- Engaging in cognitive dissonance
- Need to control oneself and others
These are just some of the most known spiritual bypassing examples. There are countless others, barely visible, subtly running our lives, actions, and reactions from the shadows. This is why we are to do the deep work, find all the hidden corners of our being, and let our life force run fiercely through all that we embody.
“True spirituality calls us to face everything. Everything inside of us that needs to be faced. It calls us to face our hot, sticky, dark, embarrassing, angry, scared, shaky, sexy and fiery places.” – Jeff Foster, Science and Nonduality (SAND).
Beyond spiritual bypassing
The truth is spiritual bypassing ought to be recognised and addressed, which is inevitable because the search that leads someone to it is the same one that will ensure he/she won’t get stuck in it.
Many speak of alternatives when it comes to it, but it’s something to be transitioned. What leads one to spiritual bypassing is equally important as the spiritual bypassing itself. Various forms of psychotherapy, meditation, plant medicine, and energy work are just some of the practices that allow one to understand enlightenment is a journey of discovering authenticity, not one of constant emotional repression.
Further on, we will focus on how plant medicines, such as Ayahuasca, support recognising and overcoming spiritual bypassing.
We ought to say that just like any other spiritual practice, plant medicine ceremonies are used by many to spiritual bypass. The depth and magic they provide become, for some, an alternative to the world they live in.
We repeatedly encourage our participants to take the time to integrate the teachings that happen during ceremonies into their daily lives.
Instead of a race of “next,” like running through reading a theory book, we recommend integration. Over and over again. Relentlessly, we talk about integration and its long-term benefits.
Bypassing is a sidejump, and the only reason it doesn’t work in one’s favour is that it’s not rooted in one’s previous reality.
When used with the right intention, plant medicines can sewe the two strings together into a new pattern that is more real and allows “hands-on” and spirituality to co-exist.
We’ve covered a wide range of articles exploring the benefits of plant medicines, and we’ve noticed that some cross paths with supporting people who choose spiritual bypassing.
Plant medicine supports:
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- Creating options for yourself. There’s more than fight or flight to life. Given your situation, this usually implies admitting ignorance and seeking to know more about what else is possible. Plant medicines are known to open new dimensions of possibility for those deciding to work with them. In this case, spiritual bypassing doesn’t need to be returning to the pits of pain you’ve once been, but a journey of reconnecting with emotions through more creative ways. That invites a lot more ease into the healing process and personal growth.
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- Letting others in. Spiritual bypassing can create a separation of self and others, too. We’ve heard many of our participants identify as a “lone wolf” due to their “high level of spirituality and soul evolution”. The majority of them discovered during the retreats that, in truth, they were terrified of letting people in and thus risk being hurt again.
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- Bringing your essence back into the picture. In all the love and light, returning to your body is really important, and there’s nothing like a good purge to do that. Plant medicines have the gift of leading you to experience yourself and your body from the perspective of sensations arising breath by breath. Before our wounds and the story around them, we were just that – a breathing body, pure essence.
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- Revising give and take and redefining boundaries with yourself and others. You’ll learn in ceremonies how unsustainable a lack of balance is. Although they last just a couple of hours, one leaves with a clear view of the price of unbalance. Weak boundaries seem to be one of the main signs of spiritual bypassing due to the firm belief one must always be available for others and that something beyond them will protect their well-being because of that. Plant medicines are wise spirits that teach the importance of respecting oneself and constantly reviewing boundaries for our relationships to flourish.
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- Checking in with your feelings. Some people genuinely do not know they are spiritually bypassing. But just like a back injury that builds over years of bad posture, this too will create a sense of profound self-rejection if not attended to. It’s ideal to think, “I wonder what I’m bypassing right now that needs my attention”, and be proactive about your real needs.A retreat is an excellent opportunity to step aside from your daily routines, activities, and relationships. Nature, diet, and plant medicines are a combination of things that facilitate glimpses into how you’ve been running your daily life and what part of it is, in fact, something you dread dealing with.
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- Seeing your resistance. According to Teal Swan (spiritual speaker), the avoidance that takes place through spiritual bypassing is, in fact, resistance. Ayahuasca is known to be capable of reframing the way you see resistance, allowing you to approach it without adding to it more easily.Working through the aspects that maintain the pain of resistance would inevitably release the choice of spiritual bypassing that one might have taken previously.
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- Ego death. Plant medicines offer a real possibility of experiencing ego death, which greatly empowers an individual. Once facing death and walk out safe and sound, you can feel a lot more prepared to face things head-on as they occur or from the past.
Curious about taking the next step? Learn how to prepare for your Ayahuasca journey with our Complete Guide to the Ayahuasca diet.
Continue your spiritual bypassing research.
If you seek to further your knowledge on this fascinating theme, we encourage you to find the speaker that most reaches you. Spiritual bypassing is a sensitive topic and shouldn’t be treated lightly. Choose the ones that you naturally notice yourself to be receptive to.
Here is a list of those who inspired us and helped us answer questions like — what is spiritual bypassing and how can it be overcome.
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- “Spiritual Bypassing – When spirituality disconnects us from what really matters” by Robert Augustus Masters, PhD.“I see anger as the guardian of boundaries. I see a lot of people caught in spiritual bypassing as having such poor boundaries they cannot say a clear no. They are overly attached to being nice, and sweet, and go to look positive. There is this addiction to being positive. And they are, in a sense, being negative about their negativity.”
- “Beware of Spiritual Bypass” by Ingrid Clayton, PhD for Psychology Today.
“There is a shadow side to almost every positive thing we can do for ourselves, including spiritual practice. All spiritual and psychological tools can be used in a “willful” way.” - “Grounded Spirituality” by Jeff Brown.“Ungrounded spiritualities make it impossible for a truly integrated, inclusive, and enrealed love connection to develop. It’s just not possible because no one is there for it. It’s life without a centre. Life without a home.”
- “The gifts of imperfection” by Brené Brown.“We cannot selectively numb emotions; when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.”
- “Toward a Psychology of Awakening” by J Wellwood.“Spiritual practice, when cut off from the rich feeling-textures of personal life, can become dry and remote, just as personal life becomes narrow and confining when cut off from the fresh breezes of spiritual realisation.”
We hope our perception and sharing on “what is spiritual bypassing” and the spiritual bypassing examples we’ve provided have served as an invitation to closely evaluate your emotions and embrace the journey towards discovering your authentic self.
We are confident in the power of plant medicine when it comes to transitioning all phases of spiritual development, which is why we invite you to join Avalon’s Ayahuasca retreats in Europe and become part of the family. We are looking forward to seeing you flourish.
Before we say our goodbyes, we would like to share a simple yet powerful advice we came across on Quora:
“Don’t bypass.
Don’t pretend there is no you.
Don’t pretend you’re not in the hell bath.
(You are.)
Feel everything.
Feel the boil.
And let the Universe teach you —
How to adjust the temperature.”
Melody Thomas
