Spiritual aristocrat. Passionate ambassador of healing tools to expand consciousness.
My daily mantra is "I help people as a work on myself and I work on myself to help people" - Ram Dass.
Growing up I did not have the perfect and strong rooted family that many of us can dream of. My mother and father did not know how to help me from a young age to define my own identity. Not having any guidance or landmark I always felt I had to prove myself to others that I was lovable. This deep sense of not feeling good enough will shape my identity for a very long time.
I grew up with a lovely but emotionally unavailable mother who I could not connect with on a deep mother- daughter level. Losing her mother herself from a very young age, she did not know what being a one should look like. That deep connection I was craving from her I did not get it from my father either as he was mostly absent from my life.
As a young child I developed a feeling of not being good enough. I felt invisible, lost, lacking a sense of being heard, cared for emotionally, listened to and protected. I then grew up with a deep sense of loneliness and feeling of exclusion. I wanted to be seen and loved.
At eight years old a traumatic event shaped my entire life. My mother tried to commit suicide. Thankfully, I arrived at a time where it was not too late, called an ambulance and that saved her. This event will shape the perception of myself for a very long time. I felt like I was not good enough for my mother to want to stay alive and from that I developed a huge fear of being abandoned.
While my mum was at the hospital I went to live with my father who I adored. However, he had his own story and shadows to deal with. For him I needed to be perfect and show to the entire world that I was. I felt pressured to be that perfect girl who her father will only love if she would reach that goal. I worked hard, I was the model daughter, I was quiet and obedient but also full of fear to not be loved if I was not. In my child mind and perception that was in any case never good enough. I always felt that I did not do enough, that I was not good enough to attain that goal of perfection that I thought my father wanted me to be.
All these childhood experiences and perceptions led me to developed a chameleon syndrome. Constantly adapting my personality to what I thought my parents would like me to be. And that of course lead me, as an adult, to always trying my best to please people around me. Adapting so intensively to my environment made me forgot who I truly was, what I liked or not liked or what I wanted for myself. I was out of touch with my emotions and feelings. I was disconnected, dissociated from myself. I had what we call a de-personalization.
Since 2011 I have tried countless holistic, shamanic and spiritual therapies to feel whole again - hypnosis, NLP, holistic coaching, breathing, oracle cards and intuitive healing of the energy field. As I was discovering more I wanted to learn more too. I then extensively trained in many of these tools which undeniable helped me heal and find myself again.
In 2019 I experienced a profound spiritual awakening and spent two years in solitude and deep meditation training. In those years of spiritual initiation I opened my severely blocked heart and healed from my childhood trauma.
Through awareness, empowerment, self-confidence and self-love I believe that anything is possible. Expanding my consciousness is my everyday mission, to discover who I am as a human and as a spiritual being. This self-discovery help me to guide you to do the same and become the greatest version of who you want to be now.
Facilitator of guidance and integration. Hypnotherapist.